WORLD 4 X 6 Metre

What is best for us not necessarily good in the eyes of the Lord, and conversely the Best in the eyes of God Not necessarily an option for Kita. There are many concrete examples. Men become women, women become men, not dikehandaki destiny, and more concrete examples of what we can see with the naked eye. Have the courage necessary to penetrate the bottom boundary. Like me ...., Did not even think to live with this situation. Today and the next day that has not been determined, I decided to go with him. "Is this is tadirku ...?"
 "Ma ..., I've decided ... I'll marry him .., please Bless me .." with a firm but resigned tone that I finally ventured to speak with a woman half an old man. My mother looked at me with eyes filled with tears. There was bitterness in his eyes.
 "Do not push my son ..., you are still a long way .., hand it all to God. Mama believes you must get through this .. "feeling tired, his face alight.
 "No Ma .., I'm sure God has provided the best for me .., I implore Bless me .." I hugged my knees dusty leg pain. My tears fell on his toes Selah, Selah.
 "Mama was not willing, if the anger that makes this decision. Mama's boy do not torture ....!!, Please do not torture ... Mama! "The woman clung to my body and soul is spilling all the pain he had long endured. Very heavy burden. I know the tears that fell on my shoulder.
 "Mama's wrong ... this is not anger .., .. these are facts, the facts I need him to accompany me to live. My life was empty when he's not beside me, Please Ma ... ngerti'in your son is feeling ... "can not be repressed sobs again, two children begat tears because destiny not planned.
 She wiped tears and round tekatnya. Although the weight she had to accept this decision.
 "Well my son ..., if this is what you asked ..., what I will obey your will. But on one condition .., put God in your heart you can do it .,,!!, make Mama ..??"
 I did not answer, my mouth numb, my brain shifted 0.1 degree, it's hard to answer. Finally I nod my head's just hope my brain can come back Normal.That day is a day that was so severe in the history of life. Decide on something that had never previously terfikirkan.
 But that's life, we never know what's going on tomorrow, with our degrees will be in the exam by Rev the Lord. At least that's maxim can I store in my brain memory when a friend comes to rebuilding the shattered soul. I can only laugh a little, if 'this is so why not just pull up into heaven or hell I let the people around me that I did not feel the impact caused mainly my mother. And instead he was actually teasing me with laugh out loud .. I do not understand laughter. So I had to laugh. We both laughed with their own thoughts. Weird is not it?.

        Every day I spend time under the sun in the morning, and became "Penatap_Langit" real, wish there was an angel came up to me and took me away from this heavy burden. The world has yet to end. But my world is limited to 4x6 meters. 4 laterally six forward and six backward. I lost the woman I love, all the opportunities and freedom to move. My eyes can only see from a distance without feeling the ground air-Selah Selah mingle in the crowd. I would not worry too much, because I still have such a huge sense of optimism in him and I will devote to the prospective bride later. I want to speed up today. I want to hug prospective bride. Although I'm sad but I really need him beside me.
 My feelings started to kacaw, there are many shadows that bothers me. The words why ...?, Spinning my brain didalm start weak, indecisive, bitterness, shame, no sense of confidence and all that is upon the whole esophagus absruk my heart. How many times did I pray to my heart is hoping to return this form to become one again and get that confidence. But when ...?, I do not know ...
 All friends and close family supported my decision by the words "Patience ..!!", actually I'm sick of that word. But, I could not just shut up, .. anyway, just the ones I have now. They did not understand and could not understand kekacawan my heart. People can be concerned when the man felt the same way I feel. It is nonsense to think they matter because Iba. The proof they were just satisfying his ego alone. They never can be anything, a big zero in his heart. And I'm still struggling view the words "Patience".
 It's still not okay, one person dumb call myself a bit lucky, but he did not understand the word lucky was what kind sandiri. How can a called lucky if just one level above the others. Ask the World, so there are people who want to wheel at the bottom. Every human being no one wanted the same boat with me or worse than me. If this is so where lies the words that lucky ...!. That was most evident if humans just want to satisfy his ego alone. With a brain a little, he's really good at knitting sounding words to inspire the hearts that hear. Yes .., it makes no difference to me who was also as stupid as they are, but at least argumentku be accepted by the same person like me, not someone like himself. Nothing in this world is all relative.
 Sick and sometimes want to end life by hanging himself or menengak insect poison. Feeling was so strong that menggrogoti half my brain, but all that I could not do because I still have a sense of guilt to God. God himself there where I do not know. Eight months and more I wrestled the angel but do not seem to find one bit of his nose or any form of adequate instructions. I'm getting tired ...., .. Very tired, felt cheated by fate. Own destiny come hug me like a malignant virus that menggrogoti spine, to the point that the doctor raised his hands and says "There is no cure ..!!". viruses that cause I'm paralyzed and only a quarter of the energy to sustain menyisahkan my feet with the help of the prospective bride for sure. What human power of will. When God Greet no human being could resist its power.
 Little by little I started learning menyatuhkan debris of my heart. In helping with the spirit of my mother who had already faded I continue to knit back my dreams. It is not easy. Several times I failed until now still failed. Klasic reason, I can not control my anger. Got a third of my heart intact but destroyed again when the two human eyes to see me like seeing a clown or a monkey who was dancing in the street. I really do not accept it. With an overwhelming tone of a thousand curses flew from my mouth was already dirty.
 "Dogs ... .!!!, Did you all you never saw what people with disabilities ..!!!" my eyes bulging out, I quicken my steps, my breath does not irregular up and down, my soul and re-mastering emotion I shut myself behind my bedroom wall. Tears mingled with anger, disappointment is tearing apart, seething hatred penetrated the soul. Nobody knows that. Just me and feeling my pain. I'm disappointed for all the world today, especially to God. Then I write the words for myself.
 When Rain Dance
 Rain dancing again ..I want to dance with him ..Releasing my heart kegundahanDancing with the drops of water from the sky ..The rain continued to dance ..As if to taunt me from the room.Lonely, alone, can not do much ...,This wound Memambah hearts."What is my fault that Ican not come to dance with him ..!!".. I'm tired, tired ... sad ... and miss ...Miss how it feelswhen raindrops huguntil I was soaking wet ...I remember yesterday I had neverfear of splitting the rain ..!Never refused when he asked me to dance ..But now .., the rain did not matter anymore to me ...He can only make fun of mefrom the room without a careI feel so upsetwatch dancing ..The rain still continued to dance ..,Precarious roar and the ground becomesher own music.Rain makes me hesitate ...,Hesitated and missed every time the rain came."Could I still can again enjoy the dance ...??"
                                                                   _Langit'JiNgga_

          My eyes filled with tears, this time everything was dark. Limp like a surrender to death, I cast my eyes corner of the corner of my room. There's something I lurk there. My long stare at him like I've never met him. Prospective bride has now officially become my bride. He stood there and smiled at me corner with a million rainbow spectrum display. Now no more words said, the couple should not have to have the word lie. I honest to him, he was so open to me.
 "My husband .., no need to fret World deal, because the vast sky Still Has Its Place For You Breathe. You Can Be My Husband ..!!"
 Wedding present to speak to me with a typical smile. Delete my tears left, I forced a smile slowly and eventually used. My eyes looked old bride, one-eighth of my heart now formed his own, word of honor is like waking me from a very long dream. Close my eyes and sigh heavily, kulepasakan all expenses binding, I think that ensnare lepasakan all. The air around me seemed menyatuh with my body. It feels very light ...., ... So peaceful, like wanting to sleep alone. Long .... Long time ...., ... Quiet, quiet .., feel yourself staying in this world. I open my eyes and looked back at my wedding. Did you know you ...? This wedding is a pair of sticks that serves to support my weight when walking. Although inanimate objects but to me he is the angel connector tracks.
 I stood and stared at the sky and slightly to the humming of the Universe."Thank God For what you give me. Though hard to accept but I know there is a beautiful way that you promised to me. " That's all there in my heart now.
 I smiled, and finally laughed to himself. There is a feeling that tickle in my brain. As a long time ago not laughed like this. "What a fool I was ... ..., stupid me ...!", I laughed again.


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